Who is robbing us of our kids?

I really enjoy fetching Ann by myself although it is exhausting. It is a 15 minutes walk under the hot sun when fetching her. You see, our home is near school yet far. It is near yet there are no direct buses to bring me there. To get there, I have to take two buses. It is less than a five minutes ride for each bus but the waiting time can be long. So in the end, it makes more sense to just walk.

The fun part about fetching Ann is that you hear people talk. It can be very interesting. It’s kind of like watching a movie or listening to an audio story book. These people are not even aware that their lives are being revealed. The maids will be talking about their lives with their employers, some good, some bad. The mothers will be talking about tuition, teachers, schools. The grandmas will be taking about their children and grandchildren. The grandpas will engage in kopitiam political talks. So, here goes one…

Boy : mum I didn't do well for my Math test
Mother : (didn't say anything)
Boy : I just got 92%

WHAT!!!!

Many times, we hear parents complaining about how our kids are being robbed of their childhood by technology, by the systems, by the society. Recently, it dawned on me that parents themselves are robbing themselves of their kids.

Think about this…do our kids really want tuition and more tuition? Do our kids really want enrichment classes? Do our kids really want to go for that music class, swimming class, Science enrichment class etc….How many parents consult their kids being signing them up for all these classes? Is it the fears of the parents that have made tutors multi-millionaires? It sometimes drives me nuts looking at the way parents drive their kids to every single classes that they can ever find. Do they even know how exhausted are their kids. These are kids, young kids who want to go to the playground, who want to watch cartoon, who want to sleep… Do you see the amount of homework that they need to do each day and if that is not enough, there is supplementary class to attend and CCA to go to. My friend’s 10 year old son’s schedule runs like this 7.30am to 1.00pm school. 1.30pm to 3.00pm supplementary class. 3.30pm to 5pm badminton. Some days end at 3.00pm. When he gets home, there is homework to do.

Kids, these days, are very stressed. Kai came home from his CCA and told us that one kid actually broke down during his CCA. Kicking chairs, crying about failing his Math test…my heart was so broken. Parents need to stop outsourcing child rearing. They need to stop pushing their job to teachers, tutors, student care centers, child care centers and gadgets! (That's another thing worth blogging about).

Ann came home one day (less than three months into the first term of school) and told me that her Chinese teacher asked her if she has tuition. What’s wrong with these educators. Do they have to meet some KPI? If they teach enough and teach well, why do kids need tuition? Hmmm...if kids need tuition, then you have failed as an educator.

Kids need to sleep enough, their body needs to rest and repair. There is more to life for them other than chasing after classes of various sorts.

This was a true incident. Some time back, when we were at the zoo, we saw a boy, chubby little boy, no more than 10 years old. He is a stroke patient. You know how easy it is to spot one. Their affected hand’s and leg’s movement are always able to let people know that they had suffered from a stroke. It was very sad. It will not be a silver tsunami that we are looking at if we do not love our kids enough.

When Kai was in pre-school, he had a classmate whose mum was always feeding him with enrichment classes. He attended Montessori class, Shichida class, piano class. Then they bought the Glenn Doberman aid. She made flash cards all the time and proclaimed that her son has photographic memory. Recently, we met them. The boy is now 13, just like Kai but he is such a shy and timid boy who hides behind his mum and whispers to his mum. Comparing him to Kai, I think Kai is much more confident than him. I did nothing to Kai but brought him to the library once a week (she tried to convince me that this and that is really good. Your truly, the vocal and rebellious mum just refused to buy any of those stuff).

Give space for your kids to grow and bloom. Help them to find their passion. My motto to my kids now is “Do what you LOVE and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

So, you see, who is robbing our kids, it’s us, parents. WAKE UP!!!

I once read this book and I would like to recommend it to all parents…

Yes, we parents are really stupid sometimes.

Another exhibition

Then...
 

2007 Exhibition and without Ann's participation.

Now...

2013 Exhibition

   
Kai’s work


Ann’s work

Maybe I should do one just for them. The amount of potteries I have at home is more than enough to hold an exhibition for both of them.

My dragon baby turns 13

Just look at how fast time has passed…

Kai at three

 
Kai at 13!

It is the same wish…that he will grow up to be a man after God’s heart.

Seriously, seriously

I must seek the Lord’s direction for the next chapter of my life. There are days where the kids are just not around. Kai spent two to three days in "full day" school per week. Ann has her dance class on Thursdays. I mean, how much can I bake, how much can I cook. Seriously, I need to find something meaningful to do. An idle mind is a devil's workshop.

However, I do have a soft spot for kids and families. Under privilege ones. If you have a roof over your head, travel three times a year and owns a family car, you are not in that category.

There is so much talk about gadgets, internet, bad influence robbing our kids. Just recently, it dawn on me that our education system is a greater evil robbing our kids of their childhood and guess what, parents have often become the accomplice. I will write further on that…time to be nice to my eyes. 

A pleasant surprise

The door bell rang and I received a parcel. I was surprised to find a note in it…

Each time when I am told how my blog has blessed someone, I am really humbled. I count it a privilege to be able to touch someone just by working on my laptop. Perhaps, I should turn all my blogs into books. That’s why, I cannot stop writing.

Miss you…

Writing.
Haven’t been writing cos’ the eyes just dry up easily in front of the screen. Write, I must.

So much have happened these past few weeks. I have just returned from a three-day Women’s Christian Conference. It was an amazing time. I would encourage all stay-at-home mum to take the opportunity to leave your house and get out and attend something different once a while. At least, once a year. It is so refreshing for the mind, body and soul. I must thank the spouse for taking time out to take over mum’s job. It was good bonding for the kids and him too.

I was reluctant to go at first because of the distance. From Dover to Bedok, taking train would take almost one hour, praying hard that it will not break down. I am so glad that I disciplined myself to go. It was really exhausting as the conference started as early as 8.30am.

During the conference, I had the privilege of meeting some woman movers and shakers such as Elim Chew, Nanz Chong, Thio Li-Ann. Rev Naomi Dowdy and international speaker, Lisa Bevere (Google them and you will know why these are great women). Meeting and getting to know some of the women there really humbled me. Among them, were former bankers, lawyers who gave up promotions and big money to set up homes, organisations for the under privileged. The director of Teen Challenge is a mum of four young kids and WITHOUT a maid. It blew our minds off. How do these women do it. Yes, it takes supernatural power and a faith as small as a mustard seed to believe and dare to step out to make a difference.

“If ever there comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known.” Matthew Arnold

I was reminded that God did not create me to be tame. Pray scary prayers and watch how He works in my life. It is funny how God can make use of our fears to wake us up. When we confront our fears, we become fearless.

Of all that I have learned at the conference, what stuck with me was this “Well-behaved women rarely make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. This is really funny but it made me think and I realised that there is so much truth in it. Look at Rahab. Rahab was a prostitute. Her house was located on the wall of the city and was strategically placed to lodge travellers. This was a prime location for her trade. Rahab had heard of the God of Israel and acted in faith. By hiding the spies she faced the risk of being killed if caught by the authorities. However Rahab knew it would take a step of faith to get her out of her present predicament. She did not intend to die with the rest of Jericho. She knew that if she did nothing - this would lead to her destruction. She made a  decision to act in faith on what she heard about God. (Joshua 2).

What about Mary? Someone more familiar. She agreed to carry Jesus although she was an unwed teenager. In ancient days, what would people think of her? There are many more women in the Bible who have gone against the flow of things. Even Elim Chew, she was no good student. A girl who wasn’t interested in studies. Now, a celebrated entrepreneur with multiple accolades and awards. Her passion, the youth, the under privileged. If you shop at Vivocity. Go there on the last weekend of each month. There is a flea market selling handicrafts made by a group of special people and run by themselves.

Am I a well-behaved woman? Hmmm…maybe not. I think I am a pain to some people but I am no great woman. Just different in my own way.

NOTE : I am not asking you to go out and not behave. These women have misbehaved for a good cause. These are God’s chosen women. *Smile* BUT, you can make a difference!

Gangnam style…oh spare me

I first heard of this when I was still in SH and was wondering what was that. I didn’t know that it was a dance movement until I came back. Initially, felt that it was rather funny watching a fat, chubby grown man dancing away. Then the dance movement started appearing everywhere and in all kinds of occasion. Even ministers were dancing. It even found its way to a Zumba trial class which I had attended (of course, I didn’t sign up!). It became an overkill, it became so annoying. OMG… please, don’t let me hear it or see it again. Thankfully, both my kids found it silly and annoying, otherwise, I will have to face it everyday!