Talking about you, dude!

I want to write about this for the longest time but I have to get my thoughts organised.

You know I am a returning Singaporean. Someone who has been away for a considerable amount of years and now back in her homeland. I have said that in my previous blog, living a “relocated” life isn’t easy. I must say that the mothers face the toughest challenge. The husbands go back to office, he works and gets busy. He doesn’t really have to make new friends, there are “instant” friends aka colleagues. The kids carry on with going to school and having fun with new friends. Mums are the ones who have to go find her way around.

Recently, a friend was relocated to China. When she was here, she was a full time working mum, a professional. That made her relocation twice as difficult as mine. Firstly, she has to adjust to life as a stay-at-home mum, then she has to adjust to life in a new environment. Remember, China isn’t a fully developed country yet. It has been in the news lately…dead pigs in Huang Pu Jiang, bird flu – H7N9 and of course, the never-ending pollution. The first tier cities already have their problems, imagine the second and third tier cities.

The last I heard from her was “everyday is a struggle”. Of course I know. Been there, done that.
But you know, life in a foreign land can be made easier for mums when the husbands show some form of care. Yes, I am talking about you, dude! Don’t make comments like “you are in a new place, you suppose to go and explore.” No friends, no families, no nuts about where to go…explore what, where with who?

Hello, you think it is that easy? Why not do a swap. You stay home, send the kids to school and go and explore. That isn’t US of A or Australia or NZ or some sane place. She made the sacrifice of giving up her job, follow you overseas so that you can up a notch in your career. At least, show some love.

In fact, there are so many real-life stories of the struggles of mums who have relocated with their husbands. Some of these are really tough cookies but do not take them for granted. Appreciate them, love them, give them your time…Imagine, when the assignment is over and when she goes home, she has lost her job, she may have lost some friends.  For her, it is all over again from day one. For you, it may be the promotion, the recognition, the status. Remember, without her, you won’t be where you are. (Incidentally, I also know of wives who refused to move and the husbands missed that promotion). Behind every successful man, is a very long-suffering wife.

You won’t get brain damage to be a little more sensitive towards her.