Long? Really depends on who is looking at it. For a couple who did not survive the first five years of their marriage, 20 years is indeed very long. For a couple who will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, 20 years is really nothing. Nevertheless, the spouse and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.
I think for two person, from completely different family background, can come together and stay together for 20 years is really not easy. I can safely say that we both belong to each opposite end. The spouse is the very passive type. So passive that sometimes, I can just pull my hair out. I remember in the very early days when I first started writing to The Straits Times, he often reminded me to be careful with what I write in case we get chased out of our HDB flat. Bwahahaha...20 years on, we have two kids and have enjoyed the baby bonus, all the rebates, all the whatever shares. I, on the other hand is the ‘life is short, just do it’ type. I don’t like to live a life of fear and regrets. Yes, we are very different. Perhaps, it is this great difference which attracted us. We kind of pull and push each other. He pulling me back when I become too bold. I pushing him out to the unknown.
There is no perfect marriage. Seriously, never will you find one. Even the most successful marriage has its challenges. Sam Keen, put it so well “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”
The one good thing about a Christian marriage is the vow that is made before the pastor and all the many friends and relatives and above all, God. There is a central figure in the union. That is Christ as the head of the household. Many marriages start breaking apart when the empty nest appear. Why? For too many years, the central figure is the children, once the children are gone, there is nothing to hold on to, couples start going their separate ways. If the central figure is God, He is there for life. Really, what caused us to grow in this past 20 years? It is the same focus for both of us, that is recognizing Christ as the head of the house.
So, to our next 20 years…to all married couples…Cheers!
Aug 1991 – courtship. Looks so young, we were actually not that young already. Both in the late twenties.
January 8 1994 – wedding day
I was surprised when the spouse brought this home.
These beautiful pictures were taken in Melbourne. They were specially taken to celebrate the coming 20th wedding anniversary.
Great respect for the photographer Stewart Leishman, he was once a chef. Decided to give that up, learn photography all by himself and now enjoying his work and capturing all the beautiful moments for people. It was very tough starting up. I could see that. His wife was working for World Vision and they have three young kids. Hard work and determination can bring you anywhere (of course, a supporting wife). An attitude of ‘never say die’. He was really kind to do this for us. A gift from him.
Really, what is there in life that man cannot conquer?
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