I saved Ann

Last Saturday, I brought Ann to attend her friend’s birthday party. This girl was in the same school, same class as Ann for the three years we were in Shanghai. They are the best of friends. It was a poolside birthday party. Ann is not a great swimmer. She could only swim very well and confidently if she could feel the floor of the pool. That swimming pool has a 1.6m side and a 1.2m side.

I was catching up with some ex-Shanghai mamas and my eyes did not leave Ann. Suddenly, from far, I could see her head bobbing up and down. For a while, I though she was playing and for a split second my thought changed to “she was in difficulty!” I ran from where I was straight to the pool and I could hear her faint voice “help, help!” I shouted at a lady beside her to grab Ann. If not for the Grace of God, the mercy of God, Ann would have gone.

I actually wanted to leave Ann at the party and come back for her later but something just made me change my mind. I couldn’t imagine what would happened if I had done that.

That night, I had the most freakish dream. I dreamt I was in a classroom filled with kids and there was a girl who was disturbing a boy. I dragged both of them out of the classroom and had a talk with them, the girl quickly ran and she jumped off the school building. I shocked! I quickly looked out and saw paramedics attending to her and she was alive!

The spouse interpreted it as Ann was the girl and the paramedic was the lady. He said I was traumatised by the swimming incident. Absolutely.

What really baffled me was that there were other residents in the pool but no one saw that she was in trouble and no one heard her. Now, you know why female animals guard their young fiercely. Never leave your kids alone and never assume anything! Even if they are great swimmers, water safety and being able to swim are two very different issues.

St Theresa’s Home, my second home?

I was caught in a heavy thunderstorm today as I made my way to St Theresa’s Home. In spite of the heavy downpour, I still made it there.  I was beginning to get use to visiting the home and my client and I think it would be really sad to finally say goodbye. It was an irony. One side of me did not like going there as it was really depressing to see these old people “caged up” in a home and a wheelchair. In a way, they were like prisoners. On the other side, I could see that these old people were very happy to see me. As the Lord leads me.

Mr Loon was very much neater and cleaner today. It took him a while to recognise me but at least he did. He was happy that I was reading the newspaper to him and he found the news on the couple who fought on a plane and got kicked out of the flight really funny. It was very disappointing once again to hear that his 6 children did not visit him again. While talking to him, another gentleman came over to join us. He was Mr Yang. He spoke very good English and was formerly an architect. He helped built the Tiong Bahru Mall. I thanked him for his contribution and told him he was a smart man. However, I could see the sadness in his eyes as he related about his family – two children, a son and a daughter were overseas. His wife was staying in KL, she was too old to look after him. He blamed no one but only wished he had more children. Really? If you have more kids, you will be well looked after? 

As we talked more, I became a little uncomfortable as he began asking me questions like if I was married….I excused myself and quickly pushed Mr Loon away with me. Every visit is a new adventure!





What a surprise!
 
Every year Mother’s Day is almost a non-event for me. Apart from cards made by the kids, that is all about it. This year, the spouse told me he was going to bring me to LeVel 33. It is a restaurant at the Marina Bay Financial Centre Tower 1, some atas (high class) place. Having been a mum for the past 14 years, this is the first. Wow…what a surprise! People always say, “you wait long long.” It is basically a cynical remark which means, just keep on waiting, it will never come. But I would like to change it to be more positive, 等久就有!(Wait long enough, you will have it) *Wink*

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Kai’s pop-up card. Ann’s teddy. See the difference between a gift from a son and a gift from a daughter

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Nice view

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The ceiling has a mirror which will reflect the view below. Stylo!

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Day. By the way, Ann deliberately smile that way! Very cheeky!

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Night view

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Trying to get Ann to smile properly!

The food…
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ermmm…I give it 5/10 but the cheese variety was great. The stout cheddar was delicious. The service was impeccable. Really flawless.

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Finally, a nice family photo.
Thanks to my hao hao nan ren. It was really a nice surprise.

This is a casual place. No need to dress up. Some ang-moh even wear singlet. Don’t be deceived by the look, it is really a nice place to chill.
(If we have time, I bring you there ;))

Give Life

This story, a true story. I have been writing this in my mind for a couple of months now. I have seek for permission and I now pen it down with only one purpose and that is… we must always give God a chance to right your life.

Sometime, late last year, I received a message “…I am struggling thru’ my days…trying very hard to be strong, to believe, forget about hatred, to forgive, to be patient, to heal the hurt…” When you received a message like this, you just want to know the reason and quickly offer help. Thinking of ways to ease the pain and hurt. Sometimes, the best solution isn’t giving the right answer. It is riding the journey with the person.

It was a story of the a young lady getting pregnant before marriage. She found out she was pregnant just as she was starting her overseas studies. Yes, she was already overseas, school has started and she was well settled down. A bright future awaited her. At that moment of discovery, everything came to a sudden brake. She was lost, the issue was too great to handle by herself. She called the boy involved, the boy flew over and wanted to look for a clinic to abort the baby. She didn’t want to, she wanted to keep the baby but boy refused to. Not prepared to get married as he too was about to start his University life. She was helpless and the only refuge was home.  That was when my friend text me.

I always count it an honour and a privilege when friends come to me. It show that they count me worthy to enter into their inner world. I do not take it lightly, I honour it and I value it. However, I am only human, the first thing I do is that I turn to the one who has created me. “Use me, oh Lord!”

“You are a great mother because at your girl’s darkest moments, she thought of home and she thought of her mother. Your girl could have aborted the baby overseas, carry on with her studies and no one would have known about the whole event. Instead, she had taken the courage to face her problem and her family. There must have been something which you have done right in order for your girl to seek refuge from her mother and at home.”

For any mum to face with such an issue, it is no easy journey especially when the boy and his family have not made things easy. It takes unconditional love, love in spite of, love no matter what…to accept it and move on with your daughter.

So many times, I give out advice on unconditional love but for the very first time in my life, I witnessed unconditional love. To love with no strings attached, to love with zero conditions. Forgoing all the tens of thousands of dollars spent sending her daughter for overseas education, the mother said “come home.”

Coming home meant facing a new set of problems. We being Asians, we staying in Asia, what would others think of a young girl with a big belly moving around. What would relatives and friends think of us? Ponder….is it worth sacrificing a life just to keep our ‘face’? The days and months were painful for my friend. The things she shared through text messages were painful. The problem is often not an issue but how one cope with it is the real deal.

I praise the mother’s unceasing love. Slowly, she revealed the incident to her relatives. She did not hide her daughter from society, she did not keep her under wraps. This brought the family together…closer.

I salute the young girl’s courage and determination. Her maturity is beyond even some of the older women I know. She went on to apply for local University. She went on to look for a job and actually started work in a cafe. As for my friend, she started knitting for the baby. Did all the shopping and getting ready for the baby’s arrival. The hurt and pain have turned into joy. 

A family must be a fort, a family must be a shield.

It would have been a deeper hurt, a longer pain if the baby was aborted. Two wrongs will never make one right. Give God a chance to right your wrong. Give life  a chance.

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The gift of God

Note: Abortion is legal in Singapore and it can be carried out on request during the first 24 weeks of gestation. I hope you know that at 24 weeks, the baby is fully capable of feeling the pain. I have seen a good friend who had to birth her baby at 22 weeks and is now a four-year-old handsome boy after receiving much love and undivided attention from his parents. Give life a chance!

Every face tells a story

One of the requirements for my counselling course was sharing our life history. To share at our comfort level. After all, being a counsellor, we must be comfortable to share and to listen another’s story. Empathic listening is the one thing every counsellor must do.

One by one, my course mates shared. It was really a privilege to be allowed into their world. Truly, every face has a story behind it. Without them telling, I would be clueless as to what kind of life they had in the past and what kind of life they have now. We often envy what others have but we failed to see what we have but others do not have.