Happy, joyful, a sense of satisfaction!
B and J are my first two clients. I counselled them last year and after five sessions with them, I am really happy with their progress.
B is now independent. He can manage his emotions, his feelings. He is motivated to do well for his coming 'O' levels. He has gone back to church. He told me that going to church helps him to feel a sense of calmness. He told me that he does not get into trouble anymore.
J is autistic. It was rather difficult talking to him at first because he was always, I mean always talking about his computer games and all the fighting, battles, killing. All I did was just listen. I guess no one wanted to listen to all his talking and here I was, all ears, listening to what he wanted to say. On the fifth session, I told him if I could now talk. That was when I was allowed into his inner circle.
J taught me what it takes to look beyond a person's shortcomings. When the masks are off, a beautiful person emerges. I pinky word with J, that he must always learn self-control and promise that no matter what, he would never hurt himself.
J said : "I hate pinkies" (but gave me his pinky finger) Haha!
J isn't the most handsome dude, not your goody good boy but I think he surpasses some of the most handsome, good dudes I have ever seen in terms of personality and character.
I didn't teach them to be better but they taught me how to be better... a better therapist. Thank You.
Yes, I am a mum. This is a place where I write about this and that.
Listen to that gut feel, it is always almost 100% right
I just need to let this out...
In 2012 when I first came back from Shanghai, found out that my friend had throat cancer. He was feeling down.
After a full cycle of radiotherapy, he was up and running again. I saw him a few months later, he was back to his usual self. Then we each went on with our lives...
Towards end of last year, I kept having the thought of calling him to ask how was he doing but kept pushing it back. House renovation, shifting, studies, I just did not make that call. Over the last weekend, I found that he has passed away and the funeral was over. He had a relapse and suffered for 8 months. Chemotherapy didn't help. He basically gave up.
Never put away time spent with people. Things can wait but not people. I wonder why I allow doing to take over being this time? I spent a lot of time telling people to spend time with people. I read a lot about people who live with regrets because they didn't make that last call, say that last wish, eat that last meal...in spite of all these knowledge, I didn't act on it. I should have gone up to his office when I was just downstairs, I should have, if only…ask all I want, nothing could turn back the clock.
This friend was just a contractor but I have known him since Kai was eight months old. He has been doing all my homes. I call him a friend because he was such a trustworthy person. How trustworthy? I could renovate my house from Shanghai. I lost a good friend, a good person, a good contractor…a very rare find.
You may think that I am being silly but I guess that was how I was created, perhaps, this episode would make me an excellent therapist in future. Perhaps, this was the episode I have to go through to emerge an excellent people helper.
This is how I feel and therefore who I am. You can be passive but I am passionate.
Sigh.... always, always listen to that little voice, that gut feel is always right.
Do what I want, say what I want but always act responsibly.
I just need to let this out...
In 2012 when I first came back from Shanghai, found out that my friend had throat cancer. He was feeling down.
After a full cycle of radiotherapy, he was up and running again. I saw him a few months later, he was back to his usual self. Then we each went on with our lives...
Towards end of last year, I kept having the thought of calling him to ask how was he doing but kept pushing it back. House renovation, shifting, studies, I just did not make that call. Over the last weekend, I found that he has passed away and the funeral was over. He had a relapse and suffered for 8 months. Chemotherapy didn't help. He basically gave up.
Never put away time spent with people. Things can wait but not people. I wonder why I allow doing to take over being this time? I spent a lot of time telling people to spend time with people. I read a lot about people who live with regrets because they didn't make that last call, say that last wish, eat that last meal...in spite of all these knowledge, I didn't act on it. I should have gone up to his office when I was just downstairs, I should have, if only…ask all I want, nothing could turn back the clock.
This friend was just a contractor but I have known him since Kai was eight months old. He has been doing all my homes. I call him a friend because he was such a trustworthy person. How trustworthy? I could renovate my house from Shanghai. I lost a good friend, a good person, a good contractor…a very rare find.
You may think that I am being silly but I guess that was how I was created, perhaps, this episode would make me an excellent therapist in future. Perhaps, this was the episode I have to go through to emerge an excellent people helper.
This is how I feel and therefore who I am. You can be passive but I am passionate.
Sigh.... always, always listen to that little voice, that gut feel is always right.
Do what I want, say what I want but always act responsibly.
We were back again…(Part 3)
Sight, sound (oops, you cannot hear) and food.
These last two pictures reminded me of China.
This coconut is to die for. Coconut ‘flesh’ buried beneath with coconut ice-cream, topped with roasted coconut shavings, peanuts, corn. Sedap!
Go Malacca, must not miss chendol!
That's all folks!
Sight, sound (oops, you cannot hear) and food.
These last two pictures reminded me of China.
This coconut is to die for. Coconut ‘flesh’ buried beneath with coconut ice-cream, topped with roasted coconut shavings, peanuts, corn. Sedap!
Go Malacca, must not miss chendol!
That's all folks!
We were back again…(Part 2)
One of the highlights for this trip was going inside a submarine. Seriously, how many of us have the chance to get inside a submarine. It was a great experience for 3 ringgit, thanks to my nephew who did a search and found this Submarine museum
The only nice place to sleep is the top bunk
Conclusion, I won’t survive for long. Too claustrophobic for me but it was a great experience!
One of the highlights for this trip was going inside a submarine. Seriously, how many of us have the chance to get inside a submarine. It was a great experience for 3 ringgit, thanks to my nephew who did a search and found this Submarine museum
The only nice place to sleep is the top bunk
Conclusion, I won’t survive for long. Too claustrophobic for me but it was a great experience!
We were back again…(Part 1)
We went back to Malacca once again during the school holidays. Never get tired of the place.
Good old coffee shop
Toilet!
Tikum-tikum
Using cans to decorate the cafe
Nice leh. Love it!
Old fashion coffee shop with old fashion dim-sum. Superb!
Looks like a pot of plant?
It is chocolate ice-cream with oreo crumbs and mint leaves. So clever, so creative. Malaysia boleh!
This is what I always mean, you must keep the old things with character. Can’t ‘cookie-cutter’ everything.
Nyonya kueh galore! Every piece hand-made. No kidding.
How can you get tired of this place?
We went back to Malacca once again during the school holidays. Never get tired of the place.
Good old coffee shop
Toilet!
Tikum-tikum
Using cans to decorate the cafe
Nice leh. Love it!
Old fashion coffee shop with old fashion dim-sum. Superb!
Looks like a pot of plant?
It is chocolate ice-cream with oreo crumbs and mint leaves. So clever, so creative. Malaysia boleh!
This is what I always mean, you must keep the old things with character. Can’t ‘cookie-cutter’ everything.
Nyonya kueh galore! Every piece hand-made. No kidding.
How can you get tired of this place?
First days of schools
Forever, my baby
First day – P1 HPPS
First day – G2 Alburtis Elementary School, PA
First day – P4 Shanghai Singapore Int’l School
First day – P6 HPPS immersion programme
First day – Sec 1 GESS
First day – Sec 3 GESS.
With his long legs, he is so happy to be able to wear long pants!
Forever, my baby
First day – P1 HPPS
First day – G2 Alburtis Elementary School, PA
First day – P4 Shanghai Singapore Int’l School
First day – P6 HPPS immersion programme
First day – Sec 1 GESS
First day – Sec 3 GESS.
With his long legs, he is so happy to be able to wear long pants!
Believe in yourself…it is a must
This posting should have been done last year but then it was such a busy year and then I was off for a short vacation before the crazy schedule starts. This was the best Christmas gift I could ever give to myself.
When I received my Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) assignment, my heart sank. I only managed a Pass (P). Doubts flooded my mind. Am I good enough? Did I study the wrong course? Have I done enough? Reading through my essay, over and over again, I just could not accept this grade. This was just not my performance. I decided to do something which I have never done before – appeal for a re-grading, a re-marking for my assignment…
So, I wrote to the director of the institution…
I am writing this email to express my disappointment with how my SFBT assignment was marked and graded. I was marked three grades below my usual performance.
I am not stating that I am a super student and therefore deserved a better grade but from a High Distinction (HD) to a P? If I am a poor performer, it would have reflected in all my past assignments. I felt that the marking was not impartial base on the comments given by the marker. This is the first time I am appealing for a relook at my grading in all my years of studying as I believe this is due to the marker’s values towards SFBT.
From the comments given, it seemed like I was expected to quote from preferred sources. An example,
“According to Corey (2005), SFBT focuses on what is possible and has no interest or little interest on understanding the problem itself.”
If I gave an argument and used Corey to support my point, why was it not accepted? The comment given by the marker was “not true”. The marker’s comments reflected in my essay came across as being myopic.
In my many months with the school, I have been taught to be a counsellor with an open mind. Dr C said that I need to put down my values, beliefs, norms and cultures to accept others. Likewise for a marker, to be able to grade a piece of assignment fairly, it would only be right to have an open mind to accept other opinions if they make good sense.
I am not a SFBT intern, I do not know enough SFBT practitioners and studies in order to quote them all in my essay…Dr L, it would greatly be appreciated if you could relook at my paper. If after a second opinion and found that I truly deserved a P, I rest my case.
When the re-grading came back, I scored a Distinction (D). The result arrived on 23rd Dec. What a great Christmas gift!
What have I learned through this?
No one can put me down. I have to protect myself, I have to speak up for myself and above all, I must believe in myself because no one will if I just keep silent and accept the label others have placed on me. Be faithful, be fearless!
This posting should have been done last year but then it was such a busy year and then I was off for a short vacation before the crazy schedule starts. This was the best Christmas gift I could ever give to myself.
When I received my Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) assignment, my heart sank. I only managed a Pass (P). Doubts flooded my mind. Am I good enough? Did I study the wrong course? Have I done enough? Reading through my essay, over and over again, I just could not accept this grade. This was just not my performance. I decided to do something which I have never done before – appeal for a re-grading, a re-marking for my assignment…
So, I wrote to the director of the institution…
I am writing this email to express my disappointment with how my SFBT assignment was marked and graded. I was marked three grades below my usual performance.
I am not stating that I am a super student and therefore deserved a better grade but from a High Distinction (HD) to a P? If I am a poor performer, it would have reflected in all my past assignments. I felt that the marking was not impartial base on the comments given by the marker. This is the first time I am appealing for a relook at my grading in all my years of studying as I believe this is due to the marker’s values towards SFBT.
From the comments given, it seemed like I was expected to quote from preferred sources. An example,
“According to Corey (2005), SFBT focuses on what is possible and has no interest or little interest on understanding the problem itself.”
If I gave an argument and used Corey to support my point, why was it not accepted? The comment given by the marker was “not true”. The marker’s comments reflected in my essay came across as being myopic.
In my many months with the school, I have been taught to be a counsellor with an open mind. Dr C said that I need to put down my values, beliefs, norms and cultures to accept others. Likewise for a marker, to be able to grade a piece of assignment fairly, it would only be right to have an open mind to accept other opinions if they make good sense.
I am not a SFBT intern, I do not know enough SFBT practitioners and studies in order to quote them all in my essay…Dr L, it would greatly be appreciated if you could relook at my paper. If after a second opinion and found that I truly deserved a P, I rest my case.
When the re-grading came back, I scored a Distinction (D). The result arrived on 23rd Dec. What a great Christmas gift!
What have I learned through this?
No one can put me down. I have to protect myself, I have to speak up for myself and above all, I must believe in myself because no one will if I just keep silent and accept the label others have placed on me. Be faithful, be fearless!
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