this and that from mama

Listen to that gut feel, it is always almost 100% right

I just need to let this out...

In 2012 when I first came back from  Shanghai, found out that my friend had throat cancer. He was feeling down.

After a full cycle of radiotherapy, he was up and running again. I saw him a few months later,  he was back to his usual self. Then we  each went on with our lives...

Towards end of last year, I kept having the thought of calling him to ask how was he doing but kept pushing it back. House renovation, shifting, studies, I just did not make that call. Over the last weekend,  I found that he has passed away and the funeral was over. He had a relapse and suffered for 8 months. Chemotherapy didn't help. He basically gave up.

Never put away time spent with people. Things can wait but not people. I wonder why I allow doing to take over being this time? I spent a lot of time telling people to spend time with people. I read a lot about people who live with regrets because they didn't make that last call, say that last wish, eat that last meal...in spite of all these knowledge, I didn't act on it. I should have gone up to his office when I was just downstairs, I should have, if only…ask all I want, nothing could turn back the clock.

This friend was just a contractor but I have known him since Kai was eight months old. He has been doing all my homes. I call him a friend because he was such a trustworthy person. How trustworthy? I could renovate my house from Shanghai. I lost a good friend, a good person, a good contractor…a very rare find.

You may think that I am being silly but I guess that was how I was created, perhaps, this episode would make me an excellent therapist in future. Perhaps, this was the episode I have to go through to emerge an excellent people helper.

This is how I feel and therefore who I am. You can be passive but I am passionate.

Sigh.... always,  always listen to that little voice, that gut feel is always right.

Do what I want, say what I want but always act responsibly.