Another low EQ
I had my first 1.5hrs session with my new supervisor. I am already missing Ms Trina Tan. If not for the distance, I would NOT change my supervisor. Ms Tan really brought out the best in me. I would want to have her again as my supervisor when I do my Masters.
I think Ms Low is lacking in EQ. It was my first meeting with her and I greatly appreciate the fact that she offered to pick me up near the MRT station. However, her instruction was not clear and I ended up at the wrong place.
“So far, I only had two students who couldn’t find the bus-stop.” A person with a higher EQ would have said “So far, I only had two students who couldn’t find the bus-stop but it is ok, the next time, you would not have any problem.”
When we reached her house, I was led to her “office”. She had a chair and a sofa. I was heading towards the chair but she asked me to sit at the sofa. Why the difference? It made me extremely uncomfortable. I was not there for therapy. I was not her patient, I was a supervisee. She was too rigid, too “stiff upper lip”. Definitely, not my style, first impression fail!
Yes, I know she knows a lot. So does Ms Trina. I mean, Ms Trina is a lecturer for Counselling. She has been doing this for many years. Never, has she once talked about how much she knows. Ms Low spent a considerable amount of time talking about her years in counselling, helping with its syllabus, she is also supervisor to students from Monash, UNiSim , etc, etc….
People, need to learn to be humble especially when you are in the people’s business!
I shall not allow her attitude to deter me from learning. I shall “squeeze” every drop of knowledge from her *wink*!
Yes, I am a mum. This is a place where I write about this and that.
It has been quite a while…
I have been very occupied these months. With what?
Client J
He said he has no dreams, no goals in life. He said that if he set goals and if he doesn't get it, it would be very upsetting so he doesn't want to set any goals. Wants to be a gammer and earn money. Throughout the conversation, he was always mimicking fighting actions. I am not sure if this is healthy. It could be a sign of being addicted to computer games. He lacks social awareness skills, I feel it is due to his condition. Looking at his school history, it seems like there has been no intervention for his ADHA condition. He has never been trained how to socialise as an ADHD kid. He is obviously unaware that his action caused discomfort to others. His behaviour is normal to him but others are not comfortable and therefore keep a distance from him. I have an ADHD nephew and he attended Pathlight Primary School and he is now 16 years old and coping very well in school. Parents cannot be in denial, parents must step up to help.
Client B
Client told me his parents were separated 1 1/2 years ago. Mum is suffering from cervical cancer, stage 3. She has undergone treatment and returned to work because she has to support 3 sons. Dad was violent and often came home drunk. Client told me that dad may have a daughter outside. B said that his brothers are violent and are gamers. He felt very happy that his dad left them because the home is now very peaceful but on the other hand, he was sad because they no longer could do things together. He missed those times when his dad drove the family out to have fun. It was very painful listening to my client. He is just a 15 year old teenager who should be enjoying his youth but he is hurting inside. B is such a matured boy. He saves up his allowance and put it in his bank so that if his mum is short of cash, she can take the money from his back. If I have only one wish in my life, I will wish for all the children of the world to have happy childhood.
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Parents, if we are a gadget addict yourself. If we are spending too much time checking our emails, browsing our FB (seriously, do we really have to do that. Didn’t we live a normal life without checking our emails and FB all the time), remember, there is more to life. Parents, if we think stuffing a screen right in front of our kids can give us a peaceful time to have a good meal, think again! Parents, don’t blame our teenagers for spending so much time in front of the PC if we have trained them to do so since they were young. Parents, time to reclaim our lives!
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I shared about Ann sometime ago. We decided to send her for an assessment. The result came out…
Didn’t I always say, every kid is different even if they come from the same parents. That’s how God has created them. DIFFERENT! The many hours of praying for her, commiting her before God, have reaped lots of good results. She is definitely more controlled with her emotions. I have learned to release her to do what she wants and I have learned to trust her to know what she is doing. For a start, we will submit her application to MENSA. We cannot let her potential go to waste. She is made for greater things!
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Kai is having his SA2 now. He has picked his subject combination for Sec three (seems like only yesterday, he just entered Sec one). Double Science Double Math Literature (this is a must. I am so glad his teacher also encourages him to do it. Without Lit, we have no soul!) Geography Heavy, heavy stuff. We have to believe in him and HIM
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Well, as for yours truly, no matter how busy, Tuesdays are my exercise day. To keep healthy, that, I must make time for it! There, you go. A very fulfilled life filled with stress and blessings. These days, I don't waste my time on unimportant things. I want to choose to count my blessings!
I have been very occupied these months. With what?
- we are shifting (there is a story behind this, a story of obedience and a journey of faith) another time
- Kai’s and Ann’s examinations
- my study, my counselling sessions, meeting my supervisor
- and of course my daily duties as an individual
Client J
He said he has no dreams, no goals in life. He said that if he set goals and if he doesn't get it, it would be very upsetting so he doesn't want to set any goals. Wants to be a gammer and earn money. Throughout the conversation, he was always mimicking fighting actions. I am not sure if this is healthy. It could be a sign of being addicted to computer games. He lacks social awareness skills, I feel it is due to his condition. Looking at his school history, it seems like there has been no intervention for his ADHA condition. He has never been trained how to socialise as an ADHD kid. He is obviously unaware that his action caused discomfort to others. His behaviour is normal to him but others are not comfortable and therefore keep a distance from him. I have an ADHD nephew and he attended Pathlight Primary School and he is now 16 years old and coping very well in school. Parents cannot be in denial, parents must step up to help.
Client B
Client told me his parents were separated 1 1/2 years ago. Mum is suffering from cervical cancer, stage 3. She has undergone treatment and returned to work because she has to support 3 sons. Dad was violent and often came home drunk. Client told me that dad may have a daughter outside. B said that his brothers are violent and are gamers. He felt very happy that his dad left them because the home is now very peaceful but on the other hand, he was sad because they no longer could do things together. He missed those times when his dad drove the family out to have fun. It was very painful listening to my client. He is just a 15 year old teenager who should be enjoying his youth but he is hurting inside. B is such a matured boy. He saves up his allowance and put it in his bank so that if his mum is short of cash, she can take the money from his back. If I have only one wish in my life, I will wish for all the children of the world to have happy childhood.
-------------------------------------------
Parents, if we are a gadget addict yourself. If we are spending too much time checking our emails, browsing our FB (seriously, do we really have to do that. Didn’t we live a normal life without checking our emails and FB all the time), remember, there is more to life. Parents, if we think stuffing a screen right in front of our kids can give us a peaceful time to have a good meal, think again! Parents, don’t blame our teenagers for spending so much time in front of the PC if we have trained them to do so since they were young. Parents, time to reclaim our lives!
-------------------------------------------
I shared about Ann sometime ago. We decided to send her for an assessment. The result came out…
Ann has a very high IQ. This was what the psychologist said “A 13yo child trapped in a 10yo body.” He explained why Ann didn’t make it for the GEP , a former educator himself, he said that every GEP has their own structure. Likewise for our system here. Ann is beyond that and we have to engage her differently. Emotionally, as a 10yo, she is not be able to cope with the kind of stress in school. We have to learn to help her.
Didn’t I always say, every kid is different even if they come from the same parents. That’s how God has created them. DIFFERENT! The many hours of praying for her, commiting her before God, have reaped lots of good results. She is definitely more controlled with her emotions. I have learned to release her to do what she wants and I have learned to trust her to know what she is doing. For a start, we will submit her application to MENSA. We cannot let her potential go to waste. She is made for greater things!
----------------------------------------------
Kai is having his SA2 now. He has picked his subject combination for Sec three (seems like only yesterday, he just entered Sec one). Double Science Double Math Literature (this is a must. I am so glad his teacher also encourages him to do it. Without Lit, we have no soul!) Geography Heavy, heavy stuff. We have to believe in him and HIM
--------------------------------------------
Well, as for yours truly, no matter how busy, Tuesdays are my exercise day. To keep healthy, that, I must make time for it! There, you go. A very fulfilled life filled with stress and blessings. These days, I don't waste my time on unimportant things. I want to choose to count my blessings!
Next phase
I will be starting my second stage of my course. In this stage, my practicum site will be a secondary school. Yesterday, I went down to meet the vice-principal. Heart-wrenching real stories were shared.
- a girl became an orphan while in school. Mother died when she was very young, father died of a massive heart attack one morning while she was in school
- a boy filled with guilt because his aunty blamed him for making her a spinster as she had to look after him while both parents were in lock-up
- a boy came to school with a fractured arm because mum, threw a chair at him…so many more.
How can our lives revolve just “what car should I drive?” “what house should live in?” “what game should I have?” "what should I eat, where should I go" …
Reaching out to these children will put my life at risk, so God, help me, please
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Three essays, one research work, one examination. Gosh....if I have been disciplined, I need to be three times more disciplined!
I will be starting my second stage of my course. In this stage, my practicum site will be a secondary school. Yesterday, I went down to meet the vice-principal. Heart-wrenching real stories were shared.
- a girl became an orphan while in school. Mother died when she was very young, father died of a massive heart attack one morning while she was in school
- a boy filled with guilt because his aunty blamed him for making her a spinster as she had to look after him while both parents were in lock-up
- a boy came to school with a fractured arm because mum, threw a chair at him…so many more.
How can our lives revolve just “what car should I drive?” “what house should live in?” “what game should I have?” "what should I eat, where should I go" …
Reaching out to these children will put my life at risk, so God, help me, please
----------------------------------
Three essays, one research work, one examination. Gosh....if I have been disciplined, I need to be three times more disciplined!
My maiden “talk”
I was selected to attend a seminar conducted by MOE and to bring it back to school to share with the other parents. I had two sessions and attended by a HOD, principal and the vice principal. It was a good talk and I received many good comments.
"Shirley's sharing was concise and thought-provoking. I liked her example of kid's ability to tie shoelaces."
"Shirley's sharing was practical and clear."
"Although a short session, I believe it's a session that can trigger parents to think through what we have been "doing" to our children."
"I really enjoyed Shirley's sharing! I completely agree with her and wish my husband was there to listen too! She did very well in illustrating her points in a concise manner."
"I find it very meaningful and would like to share with my child."
“Clear, strong voice, can relate to your examples, agree with content, many parents already know but are just not practising what they should do”
“Shirley was in her element and was superb.”
You know all these would not be possible if God had not work in me and prayers from me cell members. Just before I spoke, I prayed and then told God, “let’s go.” If God can use a housewife, He can use you too!
You know, I would love to start an 'anti-tuition' movement!
I was selected to attend a seminar conducted by MOE and to bring it back to school to share with the other parents. I had two sessions and attended by a HOD, principal and the vice principal. It was a good talk and I received many good comments.
"Shirley's sharing was concise and thought-provoking. I liked her example of kid's ability to tie shoelaces."
"Shirley's sharing was practical and clear."
"Although a short session, I believe it's a session that can trigger parents to think through what we have been "doing" to our children."
"I really enjoyed Shirley's sharing! I completely agree with her and wish my husband was there to listen too! She did very well in illustrating her points in a concise manner."
"I find it very meaningful and would like to share with my child."
“Clear, strong voice, can relate to your examples, agree with content, many parents already know but are just not practising what they should do”
“Shirley was in her element and was superb.”
You know all these would not be possible if God had not work in me and prayers from me cell members. Just before I spoke, I prayed and then told God, “let’s go.” If God can use a housewife, He can use you too!
You know, I would love to start an 'anti-tuition' movement!
6 months have passed
I have completed 6 month of my course. I scored high distinction in all my graded assignments. Have been graded competent by my supervisor. My journaling received a commendation. Yes, I am very proud of my achievements. It would not be possible without a supportive husband who always worked around my schedule, great kids who have learned to be independent without mama around and above all, a God who gave me supernatural power. How I did it, it has to be Him who gave the extra ordinary strength.
In the course of my studies, I did not just score good grades, I met some of the most wonderful ‘partners in crime’. Fellow counsellors-in-training. It has never crossed my mind that at this age, I could still make friends, in fact, good friends.
I am all ready for the next stage. Bring it on for my God has gone ahead to prepare the way for me!
I have completed 6 month of my course. I scored high distinction in all my graded assignments. Have been graded competent by my supervisor. My journaling received a commendation. Yes, I am very proud of my achievements. It would not be possible without a supportive husband who always worked around my schedule, great kids who have learned to be independent without mama around and above all, a God who gave me supernatural power. How I did it, it has to be Him who gave the extra ordinary strength.
In the course of my studies, I did not just score good grades, I met some of the most wonderful ‘partners in crime’. Fellow counsellors-in-training. It has never crossed my mind that at this age, I could still make friends, in fact, good friends.
I am all ready for the next stage. Bring it on for my God has gone ahead to prepare the way for me!
Everyone is fighting their own battle
It has been a sad day. To know that a great actor like Robin Williams will no longer grace the big screen. I have watched his movies since school days. Some movies, I watched, laughed and walked away. Some movies, I cried for the moment and that was it. Some movies, I watched, I laughed, I cried and it remained with me for the rest of my life. Those movies were starring Robin Williams. I love him as the funny but illegal doctor in Patch Adams. That movie taught me to always have a heart for people no matter what you do, just like Christ. He always had a heart for people, especially those who belonged to the lower strata in society. I love Williams as the out-of-the-box English teacher in Dead Poets’ Society. The movies taught me Literature is the soul of mankind. You never stop reading. I love him as the serious therapist in Good Will Hunting, who transformed the life of a dejected but brilliant young man. The movie taught me never to give up on people. Perhaps, these lessons which I have learned outside of school, have helped me to be who I am today.
Who would know, such a positive, humorous actor was suffering from depression. Yes, that’s right, he was an actor, those positive traits were an act only. As a person, he was depressed. Very sad indeed, he was a great actor, he was good at his craft. To be able to impact lives through movies, how many could do it.
Thank you for the memories.
--------------------------------------
Doctorate Candidate, Enrolled Doctor of Professional Studies
Masters Degree in Counseling
Certificate in Counseling Programs
Diploma in Biblical Studies
With a background like this and the list carries on, who would expect him to have a painful past. He was physically, mentally, emotionally abused at a young age. His life turned into a complete mess as a young adult. At age 35, while searching for meaning in his mess-up life, a therapist sent by God rescued him. Five years, it took him five years to be transformed from a broken man to a helper today, changing people’s lives. I was so privileged and honoured to be lectured by him in my course of studies. He not just taught me how to help others but he also taught me how to understand myself, why I behave the way I behave, why I feel the way I feel. I am so blessed through this course. It has been a tough half a year but with the wonderful support from the kids and the spouse, I have lived my life so fulfilled. 1 1/2 years to go!
Everyone has a battle to fight. Be nice, be kind.
It has been a sad day. To know that a great actor like Robin Williams will no longer grace the big screen. I have watched his movies since school days. Some movies, I watched, laughed and walked away. Some movies, I cried for the moment and that was it. Some movies, I watched, I laughed, I cried and it remained with me for the rest of my life. Those movies were starring Robin Williams. I love him as the funny but illegal doctor in Patch Adams. That movie taught me to always have a heart for people no matter what you do, just like Christ. He always had a heart for people, especially those who belonged to the lower strata in society. I love Williams as the out-of-the-box English teacher in Dead Poets’ Society. The movies taught me Literature is the soul of mankind. You never stop reading. I love him as the serious therapist in Good Will Hunting, who transformed the life of a dejected but brilliant young man. The movie taught me never to give up on people. Perhaps, these lessons which I have learned outside of school, have helped me to be who I am today.
Who would know, such a positive, humorous actor was suffering from depression. Yes, that’s right, he was an actor, those positive traits were an act only. As a person, he was depressed. Very sad indeed, he was a great actor, he was good at his craft. To be able to impact lives through movies, how many could do it.
Thank you for the memories.
--------------------------------------
Doctorate Candidate, Enrolled Doctor of Professional Studies
Masters Degree in Counseling
Certificate in Counseling Programs
Diploma in Biblical Studies
With a background like this and the list carries on, who would expect him to have a painful past. He was physically, mentally, emotionally abused at a young age. His life turned into a complete mess as a young adult. At age 35, while searching for meaning in his mess-up life, a therapist sent by God rescued him. Five years, it took him five years to be transformed from a broken man to a helper today, changing people’s lives. I was so privileged and honoured to be lectured by him in my course of studies. He not just taught me how to help others but he also taught me how to understand myself, why I behave the way I behave, why I feel the way I feel. I am so blessed through this course. It has been a tough half a year but with the wonderful support from the kids and the spouse, I have lived my life so fulfilled. 1 1/2 years to go!
Everyone has a battle to fight. Be nice, be kind.
29th July
I never forget this date. Two years ago, on this day, we headed home after five years travelling outside. Living in the discomfort zone. I experienced what it meant by “the human spirit can handle much worse than we realise” (Nick Vujicic). I can never compare my experiences with others. I know of trailing spouses who have been much worse off than me. That was my discomfort zone and mine to experience.I have emerged a different person. Now, when I fear to do something, I always reminded myself what I have gone through in that five years.
I would never have the courage to hit the books again if not for the five years of experiences. I did things I would never have done if I were to remain in my comfort zone. Did I change? Yes, I did. For the better, I want to believe.
What have I gained in these five years? Independence, courage, an open mind, the desire to be an agent of change, don’t waste time on unnecessary people or things. What have I lost? Some friendships but really, it is ok. Anything or anyone that cannot stand the test of time is really not worth spending time with. BUT…, I have gained many new friendships, know many good people.
One of the greatest achievement I have during these five years away was a very much deeper relationship with God. It is complete reliance on God when there was no familiar pillars to lean on.
Will I ever uproot again for new challenges? Yes, why not. You know how big is the world out there?
Memories…
US of A (Mar 2008 to Mar 2009)
Shanghai (July 2009 to July 2012)
See the difference. The air in US of A is clean and fresh and crisp. See those blurry sky in SH. Well, it was like that 90% of the time. We survived!
Just look at the kids. They were so tiny then. Look at that wee little Ann.
I never forget this date. Two years ago, on this day, we headed home after five years travelling outside. Living in the discomfort zone. I experienced what it meant by “the human spirit can handle much worse than we realise” (Nick Vujicic). I can never compare my experiences with others. I know of trailing spouses who have been much worse off than me. That was my discomfort zone and mine to experience.I have emerged a different person. Now, when I fear to do something, I always reminded myself what I have gone through in that five years.
I would never have the courage to hit the books again if not for the five years of experiences. I did things I would never have done if I were to remain in my comfort zone. Did I change? Yes, I did. For the better, I want to believe.
What have I gained in these five years? Independence, courage, an open mind, the desire to be an agent of change, don’t waste time on unnecessary people or things. What have I lost? Some friendships but really, it is ok. Anything or anyone that cannot stand the test of time is really not worth spending time with. BUT…, I have gained many new friendships, know many good people.
One of the greatest achievement I have during these five years away was a very much deeper relationship with God. It is complete reliance on God when there was no familiar pillars to lean on.
Will I ever uproot again for new challenges? Yes, why not. You know how big is the world out there?
Memories…
US of A (Mar 2008 to Mar 2009)
Shanghai (July 2009 to July 2012)
See the difference. The air in US of A is clean and fresh and crisp. See those blurry sky in SH. Well, it was like that 90% of the time. We survived!
Just look at the kids. They were so tiny then. Look at that wee little Ann.
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